Clueless. Jobless. Educationless.

Caution: These are the rambles of a jobless not-so-teen-but-still-teen-in-the-head. This may or may not make sense. Proceed with care as it might make you question the decisions in your life too.

This is something I randomly said in a whatsapp group, while cribbing about my not-so-sorry-yet-very-sorry life: "Clueless. Jobless. Educationless." & well it got me thinking; you might know the deep stuff, like "What is the purpose of my life?" "What am I doing with my life?" "How did I land here?" etc. etc.

Yes, yes, yes, before someone kills me over the title: Strictly speaking I am NOT educationless. I am a graduate. But in today's society a degree without Masters, MBA, PhD is equivalent to being "HSC pass" (In other words it is just a paper that is not getting me any job). So yes by today's standards I am educationless!

A year ago, when I was standing at an intersection, the turning point of my life, I chose (albeit stupidly)  journalism as my major. I loved writing, I was getting to pursue my childhood dream, all my friends were going to be with me, what could go wrong? I never anticipated what a mess I would be in a year later.

Take a lesson kids. Before choosing your subjects (even for 10th grade) do a thorough research of your options and what are the opportunities that will be available for you in the future.I learned this lesson the hard way.

So yes, in journalism! Getting a job is very difficult. Landing a job that pays you well is a dream. And when you get a job that pays you enough that you don't need to survive on a wada pav a day? Writing something you want is out of the window. So if you are cool with writing the same thing, 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, congrats you have a job! But the others who are not into monotony? Well hello sitting at home all day!

So this is why I am jobless & educationless. But a well organized girl like me, how could I end up so clueless?

I tried my hand at social media. I liked it too. But this is not what I dreamed of. I wanted to be the next J.K.Rowling, not a Mark Zuckerberg wannabe! Stuck here in this loop, I am clueless what should I do now.

Do a masters in something I'm not even remotely interested in? Take a job I don't even want to do? Or change my field and pour water over everything I have done for the past 3 years?

Well time will tell where I go, but my decision will be Direct Dil Se!

Jaily or Snily? An Argument to Consider.

Since the last Harry Potter book came out & even worse after the release of DH-2, there are always arguments about which pairing is better - Jaily or Snily. (James & Lily or Snape & Lily to all those Muggles out there!) Being a hard core Jaily fan, I find this argument stupid and annoying & I'll tell you why, in other words burst the myths:


1. James was a bully, Severus was the victim: Yes & No. Confused?

Yes, James was the bully. No doubt about it. I won't even defend him for that. He was an arrogant rich teenager with the looks, brains & talent and had developed a sort of big head about it. Agree it all. But (& there is always a but like there's two sides to each coin) He was a genuinely good person, proved so by his unquestionable acceptance of Remus Lupin (who was a werewolf, Muggle readers I haven't forgotten you!) & also the fact that he became an illegal, un-registered animagus just to help his friend.

Now the "No". No, Severus was not the poor victim. He retaliated when he could. He was the under-dog from a not-so-proper-family, accepted. But one can't deny he was a not "victim" he is often portrayed to be. Like Sirius Black says "At the age of eleven, he knew more curses and hexes than most of the seventh year students". And unlike James' harmless (yet humiliating pranks) his idea of fun was torturing someone. He was not accepting of Remus' situation, rather he wanted to reveal it to all & was bound by a promise to Dumbledore he wouldn't.

So not necessarily all bullies are bad, & all victims "good".

2. However bad Severus might have been, he came over to the good side in the end, that's all that matters: No it is not. And I will tell you why.

Severus was interested in The Dark Arts since he was a kid. (Refer to the Sirius comment above) He willingly joined the band of Slytherins, who all later became his Death Eater buddies. He was the one responsible for over hearing the prophecy & relaying it to Lord Voldemort (which he did!) He only switched sides when Lily Potter nee Evans was in indirect danger as Voldemort chose Harry to be his equal & not Neville. I repeat he only changed sides for Lily. Snily fans think this is the ultimate test of LOVE & Severus passes it because he came over to try to save her & that makes him a good man. No, it doesn't. Hypothetically, if Neville was chosen & the Longbottoms were in danger, he wouldn't have cared. He would have remained being a Death Eater & maybe helped Voldemort take over the Wizarding World.

Where as James was an active member of the Order & according to the prophecy "thrice defied Voldemort". If it were not Harry & Neville were chosen, James would have still tried to protect him or died trying. That is what James was capable of. When twelve year old boy, pure-blood nonetheless can accept a werewolf as a friend & try to help him, wouldn't he help a boy in danger, a child the age of his own kid?

So, Severus just switched sides for his "love" & not because he had a change of heart or he was a good person.

3. Severus loved Lily more than James ever could & they should have ended up together: I have a three point, to the point answer to this.

(i) Snape lived for Lily, James died for her. His last words were "Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!" Enough said.
(ii) Lily was a human. Not a bloody doll. You just can't say what would have been better for her. She was an intelligent, gifted witch, she could make her own decisions. She had the brains to decide who was better for her & who deserved her more. So thank you very much.
(iii) If Lily chose Severus, we wouldn't have been having this argument as Harry Potter wouldn't have existed. So, respect the Queen Rowling, & respect her decisions she has made for her characters & stop going on about what should have happened.

Lily chose James for a reason. Respect her decision.

Sorry for the overly long post. Rant Over.

I do love James, Direct Dil Se!

Blogging...a history of the beginning....

Well one night I lay awake until 3 and her words replayed in my mind. 

"Write a blog, keep it updated and one day on your CV it will look impressive. Make sure you have loads of followers and comments. Show them your best blog with most comments. They will surely be impressed." she had said, meaning well for me. I don't think in her wildest dreams she must have imagined her words would keep me up that night (and maybe few more following nights.)

So to impress those monsters (or interviewers in other words) I had to keep a blog. I thought all night and came up blank. What do you actually blog about? Next morning, I went to this website where people posted their blogs. It was a Harry Potter fan site. Some posted about snippets of their lives, some posted about what had lately inspired them to write but most just blogged about the Magical World.

Surely interviewers wouldn't want to read about my obsession with J.K.Rowling's magical world, would they? Nope my mind answered. Then what should I blog about I thought. My life is not as interesting to be blogged about. Nor do I do crazy stuff about which the world needs to know. And my thoughts? Well let's just say if I start with thinking about an apple within few minutes I would end up thinking about maybe airplanes or the Taj Mahal or any other random un-connected topic. But if you were to ask me I would give you a direct logical chain, going back from the Taj Mahal to the apple via a completely connected chain. 

But sadly it's not apples or monuments I think of. It's people, incidences, moments I think of. People who would kill me if they knew this is how I thought of them, incidences which are better of forgotten and moments too private to be posted.

So back to my original point, what should I blog about? I let that idea swim in my overfull brain. Did I really need that one more strain in my (so-called) important board year. Shouldn't I be studying Economics rather than think of topics to post about? My obsession with wanting to blog was crossing all limits. I would stay up nights and nights thinking of a perfect first blog to post. I would type on my mobile save drafts and finally sleep around 3-4 in the morning. Next morning on waking up I would read through the draft and go like "OMG what have I written?" and delete it off.

This phrase continued for almost a month. Sleep-less nights were taking a toll on my health. My dark circles had become even more prominent. In my sleep-deprived state neither could I study nor concentrate on anything else. Anyone who asked me to do something would either get a dirty look or be snapped at. I had come to a point where writing a blog was all I could think of!

Then it happened. The most amazing thing! I wrote something in the middle of the night, which was coherent in the light of the day, interesting to read and most importantly good. I was happy. I smiled after days. My family was shocked at the change but decided not to mention it. I was looking forward to evening, when after a final proof read I would finally post my first blog! Excited I opened the draft in my phone to re-read it, and beam at my words. I still don't know what happen, but in my haste to read somehow my phone ended up getting re-started and the moment it came on my draft was gone. Lost somewhere, I didn't know where. I tried to type those words out again. But they never came back to me!

Disheartened, taking it as a sign from the heavens, I gave up on my need to blog. For months at a stretch I tried to delete that topic from my mind. But I never really deleted it. Just pushed it back to some tiny dark corner. So imagine my surprise today when I just opened this site and created my blog. And the best part? These words have just flown and not exactly thought up....and believe me this is better than ANY draft I created.

This made me realize that pre-planning and obsessing never works. It's the words from the heart that matter.

Words that are Direct Dil Se...!